Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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