Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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