Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
