You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
