oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
