Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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