on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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