we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do herpes really smell.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I deserve this hangover.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
