One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize