he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
