I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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