There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
