yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
