so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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