Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
