Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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