Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
