Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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