The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
