If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize