I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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