doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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