I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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