how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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