i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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