He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
