I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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