I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
