I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
