Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize