oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize