I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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