I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
