I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize