garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it's great music for shaving your balls
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
