No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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