your room smells of hookers.
And success
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
