Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
