That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
