I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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