I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
