Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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