I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize