sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
