need another drink. this is the easiest way
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
