Dual....:-)
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
