I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
