Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
