here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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