im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize