i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
