wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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