He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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