Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
