It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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