the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize