Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
