We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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