I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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