why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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