We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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