Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
