Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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