just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The ass gains better be worth it
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